People in general is starting to get on my last everlasting nerve. I do not know why God is putting all these family members to try and get on my bad side. My family is getting next to me and not in the good way. I am getting at my wits end. My biological mom is talking to me like I am a new mother... Hell my daughter is almost 5. I've helped raise kids almost all my damn life... I do not need a refresher. She tries to be a mother to me now and I will be 30 this year... Ummmm... TOO LATE!!!
The mama that raised me is really tapping on my last nerve, I be about to snap. She complains about her grand-daughter every breath she takes, but she continues to cater after her like she is a got damn 2 year old. She complains about my brother who begs... and complains... and bitches about everything and everyone(to me). She complains about keeping my other brother's kids but, she sitting up here keeping someone else's damn child and I wouldn't be so agg'd about it if she didn't complain so much about my child.
I need a spiritual healing so bad it's sick. I am either the middle man, messenger or the mediator. No one knows what really goes on with me because no one asks and when I try to vent.. I get ignored. I'm tired. Something has to change. Either somebody begging, asking for advice, venting to me, asking me to deliver a message instead of doing it themselves. I am sick of being there for people when no one is there for me(emotionally) but GOD. I know HE is all I need but sometimes I need a person to listen and understand that is of this world.
Where is my shoulder to cry on?? I get a headache everyday from other peoples bs. I hide behind a smile, or a joke, or sarcasm, when on the inside I am truly tormented. I am thankful for everything that GOD has done for me and know life is not simple, but considering what I have been through you would think it would get better.I love God with all my heart and with the depths of all my being and I know that things are going to change, but on His time... Not mines... Until then... I will keep my faith and continue to pray for my rainbow in the clouds.
